A Word from Josie: EDS, Disabilities, and Sex

Hello, I’m Josie. I’m a 25 year old wife, mother, and independent contractor with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. Because of Ehlers-Danlos and its many comorbidities, I am disabled. I don’t view this as a bad thing, but as something that needs to be considered as I go about my life. Through accepting my disability I began sharing about my life on Instagram @seejosiesmile. One of my favorite things to discuss on this account is disabled sexuality and I’m excited to keep talking about it on more forums like this!

People with physical disabilities may be shaped differently and live their lives differently than those with abled bodies, but underneath all of that, we are the same. We want to be seen and touched and desired. We want to feel sexy. What is standing in our way? Society’s standards of beauty? Our own internalized ableism? Well, yes and much more, but beyond what may be interfering mentally and emotionally we also have physical hurdles to take into account. How are we supposed to don standard intimate wear when we have pain, limited mobility, or other restricting symptoms? Personally, wearing traditional bras and panties can be excruciatingly painful for me as I have to move my body in ways that are troublesome just to get them on (let alone off). It can also take me an extraordinary amount of time to get my fingers to cooperate enough to clasp a bra. By the time the ordeal of getting dressed is over I am usually left feeling exhausted and not very sexy. That’s exactly why accessible intimate wear is so exciting! The ability to feel sexy and be more independent is a pretty huge deal. I have a feeling that it’s not often that people with disabilities can honestly say that they feel considered while going about their daily life. At least now, we can say that our lingerie makes us feel sexy and considered, which is what we deserve.