Let’s Be Clear, I Can Do Bad All By Myself

About the Author: Shaudell Brooks is a disabled woman from the Gulf Coast of Mississippi and a recent graduate from the University of South Alabama. She is a Disability Lifestyle Influencer, Advocate, and Author. You can find her on instagram @disabled.diva or on Facebook (Shaudell Brooks).

Young melanin queen who is doing great things! Good job, has a degree, & running a business! But there is one thing that is missing!!! I’m as single as a dollar bill!!! I’m still trying to figure out how because I am a catch honey!!! It’s okay though and I am not in any rush. But since I have gotten older, specifically in my 20s, I realized that it takes a special type of person to be with someone that is disabled.

Trust me, I know it is not a walk in the park. But something I do know is that it is possible! It’s called being in an INTER-ABLE relationship. It is not a word that we hear often but it does exist. An inter-able relationship is when an able-bodied person and a person with a disability are in a relationship. I do look up to certain people but these are the types of relationships I long to have (when the time is right). The relationship has so much patience, understanding, and genuine love! But the most important… MATURITY!!!

I often analyze these types of relationships because younger me felt like I would lack in finding my true love. I feel like men with disabilities have a little advantage because females tend to be more sensitive and open minded to being in a relationship that is different from the norm. But guys!!! Omg!! I am convinced they are from another planet!

It’s 3 types of guys that I have come across. You have a Curious Cat. He only wants to entertain you just because he is curious what it’s like (sexually)! The nerve and disrespect!!! And then you have Sensitive Sam, who cares way too much about what people think! And lastly, Narrow Minded Nate, the guy that is just so narrow minded and thinks that the relationship wouldn’t be exciting or the “norm”. Whatever that is. It’s up to the couple to make a relationship what it is!

You create your own normal and make it exciting in your own way!! It’s not about what other people think or feel. It is about you and your significant other! Dating in this disabled world is definitely not easy but I feel like it is worth the wait and that everyone’s time will come. But for me, until then I will continue to be myself and stand (sit lol) strong on my beliefs!! I shouldn’t have to settle for less than what I desire or deserve. Because at the end of the day, God created me to be exactly how he wanted ME to be! And that is A CATCH!! So in the meantime I will continue doing BAD all by myself!!!

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