Playing The Dating Game With a Disability
About the Author: Sophie Wilson is always spreading disability awareness and acceptance on her platform. She has a C6/7 spinal cord injury and shares every moment of her physical therapy/rehab. This is one thing we absolutely love about Sophie's platform, she's so vulnerable and open to sharing every moment of her journey both in terms of her body and mind. To see more of her journey and her incredible story check her out on instagram here!
When I first had my accident I was seeing someone, it wasn’t overly serious but I liked him a lot. He was incredible throughout my time in hospital and rehab, in fact I would go as far to say he was the only reason I smiled. A year and a half after my accident we broke up. I spent the next week crying and wondering who in the world could love me.
It was shortly after this that I recognized that I felt exactly the same as I did in my previous break up. And yes, there were certainly more worries now as a disabled young woman, but also, call me crazy, but I could see a couple of benefits to when I revisit the dating game.
Benefit number 1 - F*boys prohibited.
To be honest, all those people that just want an easy catch aren’t going to stand a chance with me now, I’m over that and definitely above that. They’ll be sliding out my DMs quicker than they entered.
Benefit number 2 - Honesty.
The dating game would quickly open up some questions about me, my body, and my disability, which I would want to be totally honest about from the get go, and I think that would encourage a very open and honest relationship/Friendship immediately, that can only be a good thing right?
So how did I enter the dating game? Accidentally actually. It was through mutual friends and great conversation. And how did we approach the subject of my disability? Very comfortably. I am very open about my disability and I think this helps when dating. I always try to be the first to mention it as I find this “breaks the ice”. It also can help to make them feel more comfortable around disability too.
One of my other key points when dating is to not take things to heart, sometimes people will try to make a lighthearted joke, for example sweeping me off my wheels, and where this could be taken offensively (btw it doesn’t to me but could to others) I think it’s important to not cut someone off immediately for a comment like this. Often they make comments like this because they are nervous or unsure of what to say, ride it out for a little longer to make up your mind.
The final thing I want to touch on is Confidence. I can honestly say that I am more comfortable with the person I am now, than I ever was before my accident. I always felt that I should be doing more, working harder, achieving more. But now, I am who I am. I am proud of the challenges I have overcome and I am looking forward to my future. So I make sure that I show this in any date. Confidence is sexy. Disability is sexy. You are sexy. Own it.
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