Becoming Us

About the Author: Jade Robinson is a chronic illness advocate and warrior living with two chronic illnesses. She uses her amazing platform on instagram and her website to spread the word about chronic illness experience and raise awareness for those who are less educated. To learn more about Jade you can visit her instagram here or read some of her awesome blogs on her website here!

First of all, let me introduce myself. My name is Jade, and I am from a small town in Lincolnshire. I was diagnosed with IIH (Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension) in June 2020, then recently I have been diagnosed with Crohns Disease I am at this very moment awaiting more tests and a treatment plan. 

I cannot even begin to list the many ways which these two illnesses have changed my life, but there is something that has changed a lot since I have become ill and that is what I am going to talk about today, and that is my ‘appearance’. 

So, rewind back to the beginning of the year let us talk about ‘old Jade’. My attitude towards my appearance was nothing like it is now, I would always make sure my makeup was nice, I would not dream of leaving the house without my make up on. My hair was always nice and my outfits were always mix and match in some way, but they always looked nice, even if it was just a normal everyday outfit, I made sure it looked nice because that was me, my appearance was everything!.  

Fashion trends and Beauty trends, I was all over every month, logging on to every website I was subscribed to – I would get my butt down to Primark and get a cheap version of the expensive trends. Beauty trends I would do the same, I would go into Superdrug and get a cheaper version of the expensive trends, I was just obsessed with following the trends and keeping my appearance up.  

Now, you have a picture of Jade then. So, to give you a picture of Jade now. I hardly wear any makeup, the only time I do is when me and my partner go out for the day or if we are going out for a meal. I honestly could not tell you any Fashion or Beauty trend as I do not follow them anymore as I do not subscribe to any of them. My wardrobe mainly consists of lounge wear jeans, everyday tops and joggers which is what I live in daily or my pyjamas. 

I know a bit of a difference right!. If I am honest since I was diagnosed, I do not feel like I am Jade, this is not my body and this is not MY appearance, so how can you keep up that appearance that isn’t yours?. Any ‘Chronic Illness’ changes the way we feel in many different ways, it changes the way we look at ourselves and our confidence takes one hell of a hit that’s for sure. I always have my family and friends tell me to get back and enjoy my makeup again, and if we go out sometimes, they ask if I am going to ‘dress up’. I hope one day I will feel like I am not renting someone else’s body and not hiding behind another person’s appearance.